The Campaign for Sustained Leadership

You get a voicemail from your 13-year-old daughter begging you to attend her weekly lacrosse game. But the game, of course, is at 3 in the afternoon on a Wednesday. With deadlines on several projects looming, you wince at the prospect of leaving the office so early. But how can you say no to your daughter's request?

For many professionals, such work/family conflicts are a daily, and often irreconcilable, dilemma.

In their new book, Work and Family: Allies or Enemies, Wharton professor Stewart Friedman and co-author Jeffrey Greenhaus surveyed more than 800 business school graduates – including hundreds of Wharton alums – about how their dual roles affected their careers and families. Their findings? People who throw all of their energies into their careers at the expense of their families tend to be far less satisfied with their lives than those who focus on both.

In the book, Friedman and Greenhaus say that despite what most people think, time constraints are not the real issue. The more "subtle but pervasive problem is the psychological interference of work with family and family with work. This reduces family satisfaction and satisfaction with personal growth, and diminishes parental performance. Kids rarely miss picking up on the psychological absence of a mom or dad who's with them but whose mind is elsewhere."

Friedman argues that work and family can be allies and that companies stand to benefit from employees with balanced lives. But corporate responsibility to families must go beyond providing child-care facilities and benefits, he says. Work needs to be designed so parents can be available – behaviorally and psychologically – for their children.